Since I saw a Facebook post this morning, something has been on my mind. And my blog has become my go to place for personal thoughts (certainly not Facebook where it’s too combative.) So here I am talking about judgmental people.
Listen, I could be super serious here and talk about all the judgments we make on one another and how wrong that is. But, it’s almost always the little things that irritate me the most. This is a little thing. (But is it? As I’m typing I’m not so sure it’s a little thing.)
A local radio show asked the question – “Even if you aren’t a mother, why do you think you should get a Mother’s Day gift?” They meant it to be fun. “I want a Mother’s Day gift because I take care of my husband.” Or, “I deserve a gift for dealing with my coworkers.”
Several of the commenters stated that they didn’t have any human children but did have pet babies and thought their significant other should get them a Mother’s Day gift. It was sweet and cute. My husband has gotten me things for Mother’s Day from my two dogs and cat. It made me feel good.
Then the responses – “To all these people saying that they are Mothers to pets – You aren’t. Mothers have human children. Pets aren’t children. You don’t know love or being a mother until you have a child.” The tone of all of these was so condescending and judgmental that it has grated on my nerves for hours. AND IT WAS ALL WOMEN TREATING OTHER WOMEN BADLY. Why do we do this? Why can’t we stick together, accept our differences and embrace each other?
I don’t have children. It’s none of your business as to why or why not. That is between me and my husband. I do love my pets and will call them my “kids” to those who understand. They are my companions and are more loyal and kind than most of the people I deal with on a daily basis. So, yeah, they are my family.
I have dealt with some ‘mommy’ judgment before. When you are a woman of a certain age and haven’t had children, it’s a given that some (not all) of the mothers out there will treat you like an outcast either with unwanted pity or with the condescending comments while giving you the side eye to make sure that you understand they are addressing it to you. “I never knew love until I had my child.” “I feel sorry for those that don’t know the love of a child.” All of this may be true. And I am super happy for every mother out there who feels this way. But, don’t throw that judgement on me that I am less of a woman or caretaker because I haven’t birthed a child. Unless you are great friends with someone, you don’t know their circumstances. They may have tried and tried to have kids unsuccessfully. That person may have had a miscarriage. Or, what about someone who has lost a child and choses to give that love an outlet with a pet? Maybe they just felt they didn’t want a child, couldn’t afford a child or wanted to live a different life. Seriously, who are you to judge them? It infuriates me.
I’ll keep my fur babies. Thank you very much. They love unconditionally, know when I need them and, best of all, don’t talk back.
End of rant.